Friends

"A friend loves at all times..."  Proverbs 17:17a

We are so quick sometimes to call someone "friend".  I have over 700 facebook friends; and while I appreciate everyone of them and wish to become better acquainted with most of them...do I truly "love" them.  Are they true "friends"?  Would they love me regardless of my situation or circumstance?

Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy increasing my circle of friends.  When I truly feel someone is a "friend", a true friend--it produces a good feeling--to know someone likes me well enough, or is interested in me enough to consider me a friend.

I grew up in a house of seven siblings.  There was never a dull moment, but sometimes I think we were so busy interacting with one another that there was not a real need for other friends--and yes I consider my siblings my friends. ( That has become more true with the passing of time.)

My first "friend" was at age two.  Mary Jane was a bit older than me.  When our parents were attending college, we were dropped off at what was called the "Children's Home" during their classes.  It was actually day care--don't know why it wasn't called that??  Anyway, Mary Jane was evidently quite the rascal.  When she got herself in trouble she would proclaim:  "Shennin did it".  This was frequent enough that "Shennin did it" became my nickname.  My father used it when referring to me even when I was grown, married and had children.

So, I can't say that my first friend was one that "loved me at all times".  The next friend I remember was Skipper Thomas.  He was actually more of a friend to my brother, David, but I was the tag-along with everything they did.  I don't remember much about our friendship.  I do recall being at his house and playing "spin-the-bottle".  Where were his parents????  Actually, it was quite harmless, a peck on the cheek was as serious as it got.  We moved to Texas, and then to Maine where I found my next friend.

Barbara was probably my first true friend.  We did everything together.  We rode bikes all over Farmington, Maine.  Her mother had a candy stand where they sold candy bars and I would be so delighted when I was given a chocolate Welsh bar.  (I can't find them in the store anymore).  We followed her sister, Edith around and I'm sure we were pests to the teenager.  Those were fun days.  We were all as "poor as Job's turkey", but were young enough we didn't know it--and we always had fun!

Our move to New Jersey left me without a best friend again--it was back to just hanging out with my brothers and little sisters.  My shyness probably kept me from making friends--after all to have friends, you must make yourself friendly.  One thing I'll never forget--a friend I had in 7th grade, Nancy.  I befriended her mainly because another girl in our class singled her out to bully.  She got others to join in and constantly harrassed Nancy.  I stuck up for her and seemed to be her only friend.  Well, I'm ashamed to say--my test as a true friend, one who loves at all times--did not work out well.  I vividly remember my betrayal of Nancy's friendship as I told Cynthia I would rather be her friend.  (Cynthia was like the queen bee of the class and she promptly invited me to her birthday party).  Why did I do that?  It still bothers me.  I guess because I was an immature 12 year old brat.  Wish I could find Nancy and apologize--it still bothers me.  So, I guess I learned, I was not a real friend to either Nancy or Cynthia.  (In my defense--I never bullied Nancy, but I turned my back on her). 

In the eighth grade I made a friend with another Barbara.  We lived close together and walked to and from school every day.  She spent a lot of time at my house.  Our house was the fun place to be--lots of activity.  I don't recall ever arguing with her--we were comfortable together.  She moved away before we started high school and there I was again, friendless. 

During high school the closest I came to another good, best friend, was Elizabeth--a black girl at the church my dad pastored.  We would sing together in church, but only saw one another on Sundays.  Her family lived in the rough part of town--I'm sure it was considered a ghetto, and I would not have ventured there.  She did come to our house for youth parties and to visit--but seldom.  She usually had to baby-sit for younger siblings.  I do believe we loved one another as true friends and my heart hurts as I think of her now.  I heard that as a very young mother she took her own life.

Sherma was a true friend.  We worked together for several years and remained close.  She was my maid-of-honor, and I was her matron-of-honor.  Then distance separated us when we moved to St. Joseph.  We've kept in touch each year with Christmas cards, until last year, her card came back.  So, have I lost a friend?  Not sure.  I do know that if we crossed each others paths sometime, some place--we would pick up where we left off--nothing changed but time and age.  That's the way it is with real friends.  And yes, I have many now--just not a lot of time to spend with each one. 

There have been and still are people in my life that seem more like family than friends--but I guess that's what a real and true friend is.  Someone that loves at all times. Again my family is so large, that fitting friends into my life is hard.  Not because I don't feel friendship for a multitude of people, but it's difficult to spend time with those I call friend.

I have two sisters, four brothers, three children, their spouses, fourteen grandchildren, and a great-grandchild, nieces and nephews, cousins galore, and the list goes on.  Spending time together is priceless and I treasure our moments. 

But, it also warms my heart to renew friendships and spend time with friends that I have not seen or had the opportunity to speak with for years. 

Our emotional make-up amazes me.  There are never too many people to love.  Whether family or friends our heart expands to embrace everyone.  It's only time, distance, and change that is our enemy. 

So, each day I'll be looking for new friends, hoping that the lesson I learned with my betrayal of Nancy will make me a friend worth pursuing. 

Proverbs 18:24  "A man that has friends must show himself friendly; and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother."

So glad that even when I can't be close to my many friends and family--I'm never alone.  "What a Friend We Have in Jesus!"  And He really does love at all times.