Memory: A great gift

I love the special days set aside that remind us to remember.  Relaxing at home today rather than spending a lot of time preparing and eating food, visiting with friends and family is giving me time to reflect on the good memories I've shared with those who are no longer here.

They have hastened off to their eternal reward and we are left here to form new memories.  Since there is a major focus today on those who have served in the military--many giving the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom--I have spent time thinking about my maternal grandfather:  William H. Angell.  He had a dry sense of humor and was a very humble unassuming individual.  I regret that I don't speak of him often.  He never owned a business or amassed wealth.  He did not become famous or doing anything noteworthy in the eyes of those who measure the success of one's life.

He was my mother's father, and she was a remarkable woman who did do many noteworthy and courageous things.  She was the epitomy of honesty, humility, compassion, and love.  I cannot help but think she received teaching and training in those attributes from the quiet, low-key William H. Angell.

He worked for the United States Post Office, raised his family through the great depression, served his country in the U.S. Navy during World War I.  He met my grandmother at a USO dance.  They made a strikingly handsome couple. 

They lived in a highly populated area where they traveled via trolleys and street cars.  He never felt the need to own a car of his own and did not until he was 80 years old.  Following my grandmother's death he spent most of his time, sitting in his Ford, I'm sure reflecting on their life, their children, and their grandchildren. 

He was a man of few words, never spoke two when one would do.  My last phone conversation with him, I made arrangements for him to come to Missouri to visit us.  (He still lived in East Providence, Rhode Island).  It was home to him.  He loved spending the day at the beach where he dug cuohogs with his heels, out in the deeper water.  A real New Englander--he had a strong accent.  He was an ardent Yankee fan. 

He acted excited about making a trip to visit us in Missouri.  However, he passed before he had that opportunity.  I'll always regret that--although I know his trip to join Grandma in Heaven was much more exciting.  But that's how we are...regretting what is lost.  If he was here, he'd sit on the swing in the backyard, enjoy the sunshine, say very little--tease the grandkids and probably wish he was at the beach!

I honor today, my Grandpa Angell.

I love it when a Plan Comes Together

It's so exciting when you see a "plan" come together.  It's most exciting when it's God's plan and we actually see it come together with all the pieces of an intricate puzzle fitting in place.  I won't go into detail, but that happened in our family this week.  It brought joy, comfort, peace and a smile to every face--that is after we dried our tears (of joy that is).

When we give our will up, and let God take control--things just always work out better.  I've certainly lived long enough and experienced things both ways enough to know that is so true.  My dear cousin, John Garlock, (now passed away) expressed it this way.  "The best reason I can see to let God take control and do things His way, is that He does it better."  Simplistic, but oh so true!

John was one of, if not the greatest expository speaker I have ever heard.  In fact, people smarter than me have stated as much.  I've heard him remark:  "When I'm settling in for a transatlantic flight and glance up into the cockpit of the plane.  If I see an 8 year old boy sitting in the left hand seat where the pilot sits, I'm a bit uneasy, and would leave the aircraft immediately.  I like it when the person in control knows what they are doing.  It gives me a sense of security."

Like my cousin, I want an alert, and educated individual at the controls--someone who knows what all the gadgets are for on the panel in front of him or her.

So, then, why do we ram our heads into brick walls trying to move them.  Of course I'm speaking figuratively--but isn't that what we are doing when we try things on our own, without seeking God.  He does have a plan.  Jeremiah 29:11  "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

He has a good end to our story if we let Him take the reins of our heart and mind.  He expects it to be great and He will bring to fruition those things that will bring us joy, peace, contentment, comfort and above and beyond our highest expectations.

My wise dad always said:  "The wheels of God grind slow, but they grind fine."  In other words, He does things right.  And its so much better when we let him take charge to begin with instead of asking Him to come and clean up the mess we've made of things.  (Oh, and He'll do that too when we give everything over to Him.)

Now let me just take time to say:  "Thank you, Lord for bringing such joy to our family this week.  I know it's only the beginning, because your plan is vast."

My heart hurts

My heart hurts for the families that have lost someone in the horrific tornado in Moore, Oklahoma.  The scenes on television show devastation that is scarcely imaginable.  I can't bear to think of the children, their fear and panic when the storm hit, and now the fact that there may still be some trapped in the rubble.

Cannot bear to watch the continued report on the screen before me, yet unable to leave it--hoping and praying that they may come on and give some miraculous find of children alive and well--with 40 or more still missing.

Lord, bring comfort through your sweet Holy Spirit to the hearts that are hurting --those who are living this horror while I am simply observing it from afar.  Help will be sent, the governor of Oklahoma declares it a disaster, the president will send help and offer heartfelt platitudes.  Those effected directly by the loss of life will be changed from this terrible event for the rest of their lives.

Physical damage to structures will eventually be repaired or the buildings replaced--but the gigantic hole in the heart of those who have lost loved ones cannot be filled. 

Mercy Me sings a song:  "When the Hurt and the Healer Collide".  The only hope for a healing balm will come in the embrace of Jesus Christ.  Leaning on Him, falling into His waiting arms is the only solace in a time like this. 

I would be lying if I pretended to understand the pain and agony of the loss of a child, grandchild, or spouse.  But I know one who does understand, whose arms are open wide to hold you while you cry, to soothe and comfort during the very worst of times.

My words will stop for now, I pray the comfort of the healer of hurt and bearer or sorrow will ease the pain each one is feeling because of this devastation.  May God strengthen and bless the volunteers and workers on site.

Musings on a Warm Sunday Afternoon

Thunderstorms are threatening, but all is peaceful, (a slight wind), as I look to the East across the creek where our quiet neighbors lie.  Yes, they literally lie.  You see, there is a cemetery behind our backyard.  So those neighbors never disturb or cause trouble to the neighborhood.  It is a well-kept Memorial Park and offers a pleasant view.

In fact, it is where I take my daily two-mile walk, (unless weather keeps me inside and on the stationery bike--that may happen today).  Walking in the cemetery is very calming.  It allows me to pray as I walk, or meditate on the day or what I have to do tomorrow.  It also gives thought to mortality and the brevity of life.  I never have an eerie feeling--but the only ghost I believe in is the Holy Ghost, and He is a comfort!  Nothing scary there.

Sitting on the backyard swing, enjoying the serenity of the day after a powerful service where we celebrated Pentecost Sunday--is relaxing and calming.  Think I'll pick up the book I'm reading and finish it.  Enjoying the outdoors, unless the weather sends me inside. 

Hope your Sunday afternoon is peaceful and the storms that are predicted will bring no serious threat.  Peace through the storms of life is possible--from the Prince of Peace, Jesus!  Blessed be His name forever!

Friends

"A friend loves at all times..."  Proverbs 17:17a

We are so quick sometimes to call someone "friend".  I have over 700 facebook friends; and while I appreciate everyone of them and wish to become better acquainted with most of them...do I truly "love" them.  Are they true "friends"?  Would they love me regardless of my situation or circumstance?

Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy increasing my circle of friends.  When I truly feel someone is a "friend", a true friend--it produces a good feeling--to know someone likes me well enough, or is interested in me enough to consider me a friend.

I grew up in a house of seven siblings.  There was never a dull moment, but sometimes I think we were so busy interacting with one another that there was not a real need for other friends--and yes I consider my siblings my friends. ( That has become more true with the passing of time.)

My first "friend" was at age two.  Mary Jane was a bit older than me.  When our parents were attending college, we were dropped off at what was called the "Children's Home" during their classes.  It was actually day care--don't know why it wasn't called that??  Anyway, Mary Jane was evidently quite the rascal.  When she got herself in trouble she would proclaim:  "Shennin did it".  This was frequent enough that "Shennin did it" became my nickname.  My father used it when referring to me even when I was grown, married and had children.

So, I can't say that my first friend was one that "loved me at all times".  The next friend I remember was Skipper Thomas.  He was actually more of a friend to my brother, David, but I was the tag-along with everything they did.  I don't remember much about our friendship.  I do recall being at his house and playing "spin-the-bottle".  Where were his parents????  Actually, it was quite harmless, a peck on the cheek was as serious as it got.  We moved to Texas, and then to Maine where I found my next friend.

Barbara was probably my first true friend.  We did everything together.  We rode bikes all over Farmington, Maine.  Her mother had a candy stand where they sold candy bars and I would be so delighted when I was given a chocolate Welsh bar.  (I can't find them in the store anymore).  We followed her sister, Edith around and I'm sure we were pests to the teenager.  Those were fun days.  We were all as "poor as Job's turkey", but were young enough we didn't know it--and we always had fun!

Our move to New Jersey left me without a best friend again--it was back to just hanging out with my brothers and little sisters.  My shyness probably kept me from making friends--after all to have friends, you must make yourself friendly.  One thing I'll never forget--a friend I had in 7th grade, Nancy.  I befriended her mainly because another girl in our class singled her out to bully.  She got others to join in and constantly harrassed Nancy.  I stuck up for her and seemed to be her only friend.  Well, I'm ashamed to say--my test as a true friend, one who loves at all times--did not work out well.  I vividly remember my betrayal of Nancy's friendship as I told Cynthia I would rather be her friend.  (Cynthia was like the queen bee of the class and she promptly invited me to her birthday party).  Why did I do that?  It still bothers me.  I guess because I was an immature 12 year old brat.  Wish I could find Nancy and apologize--it still bothers me.  So, I guess I learned, I was not a real friend to either Nancy or Cynthia.  (In my defense--I never bullied Nancy, but I turned my back on her). 

In the eighth grade I made a friend with another Barbara.  We lived close together and walked to and from school every day.  She spent a lot of time at my house.  Our house was the fun place to be--lots of activity.  I don't recall ever arguing with her--we were comfortable together.  She moved away before we started high school and there I was again, friendless. 

During high school the closest I came to another good, best friend, was Elizabeth--a black girl at the church my dad pastored.  We would sing together in church, but only saw one another on Sundays.  Her family lived in the rough part of town--I'm sure it was considered a ghetto, and I would not have ventured there.  She did come to our house for youth parties and to visit--but seldom.  She usually had to baby-sit for younger siblings.  I do believe we loved one another as true friends and my heart hurts as I think of her now.  I heard that as a very young mother she took her own life.

Sherma was a true friend.  We worked together for several years and remained close.  She was my maid-of-honor, and I was her matron-of-honor.  Then distance separated us when we moved to St. Joseph.  We've kept in touch each year with Christmas cards, until last year, her card came back.  So, have I lost a friend?  Not sure.  I do know that if we crossed each others paths sometime, some place--we would pick up where we left off--nothing changed but time and age.  That's the way it is with real friends.  And yes, I have many now--just not a lot of time to spend with each one. 

There have been and still are people in my life that seem more like family than friends--but I guess that's what a real and true friend is.  Someone that loves at all times. Again my family is so large, that fitting friends into my life is hard.  Not because I don't feel friendship for a multitude of people, but it's difficult to spend time with those I call friend.

I have two sisters, four brothers, three children, their spouses, fourteen grandchildren, and a great-grandchild, nieces and nephews, cousins galore, and the list goes on.  Spending time together is priceless and I treasure our moments. 

But, it also warms my heart to renew friendships and spend time with friends that I have not seen or had the opportunity to speak with for years. 

Our emotional make-up amazes me.  There are never too many people to love.  Whether family or friends our heart expands to embrace everyone.  It's only time, distance, and change that is our enemy. 

So, each day I'll be looking for new friends, hoping that the lesson I learned with my betrayal of Nancy will make me a friend worth pursuing. 

Proverbs 18:24  "A man that has friends must show himself friendly; and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother."

So glad that even when I can't be close to my many friends and family--I'm never alone.  "What a Friend We Have in Jesus!"  And He really does love at all times.      

Every Moment

Sitting here at my computer, with my ten-year-old granddaughter, Gabbycatching up on some homework-- and my twenty-year old granddaughter, Rachel still snoozing on the sofa bed in our hotel suite--I'm thinking:  even the simplest everyday moments are a blessing and should be treasured and enjoyed.  My husband Roger is reclining in the other room doing a Sudoko puzzle, (one of his favorite past times).

There's really nothing super special about these moments as I type this blog.  We're here in Springfield, Mo. because of a wedding I have the privilege of performing for one of our nieces.  (Another blessing is the fact that Roger and I met, dated, and eventually married at Calvary Temple, here in Springfield--and we together and individually in our minds have the opportunity to reminisce about those times).  We both worked at the Assemblies of God International Headquarters.  That's where we met.

Rousing Rachel out of her slumber, (without being too annoying I hope),  gives a melancholy flashback of when she was younger and would spend the night with her Meme and Papa. 

Of course, all the family isn't here.  We will meet up with the Gris' and the Bradley Spiegels later tonight or tomorrow and we'll miss the rest of the Dowdells being here with us to make our circle complete.  But, I'm happy to enjoy the moments of this day and look forward to the rest the day has to offer.

My point?  I guess it goes with the old saying:  "Take time to stop and smell the roses!"  Enjoying each moment as it comes will help us when the difficult moments happen.  I'm so thankful for this time, today, as I reflect, enjoy, and look forward to all the moments of my life.

Expectations

It's May 3.  If you planned ahead during the winter months for the warmth of the sun to shine once May came...and you live in Missouri...the cold rainy, dreary day today was probably a disappointment.  And the weather man is predicting a little snow yet and at least more rain and temperatures in the 30's.

This little glitch in our spring weather is just a reminder that there are some things that we cannot control many things.  And life goes on!  God is still in His Heaven, and we will acclimate to the weather, unforeseen circumstances and life's many surprises. 

An old song is running through my mind:  "Many things about tomorrow, I don't seem to understand, but I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand." 

"The best laid plans of mice and men..."  often go awry.  We've all experienced the frustration of having the weather, individuals, sickness,  canceled flights, accidents, unexpected company, heartache, and more interrupt our plans.  There is little in this life that we can depend on to remain unchanged--with no surprises.

Hebrews 13:8  "Jesus Christ, the same, yesterday, today, and forever." 

So what will tomorrow bring?  Warm sunshine, drizzling, cold rain.  A student asked me yesterday if I thought our chilly spring means we have a cool summer.  Don't throw away your swimming suit or cancel your poolside plans.  We are promised springtime and harvest as long as this old world stands.  It will continue to rain on the just and the unjust from time to time.  A red sky at night still seems to mean, "sailor's delight" the next day and a red sky in the morning--"sailor take warning".  Jesus reprimanded that we could recognize the signs for weather, but seem to ignore the signs concerning spiritual things. 

So, what will tomorrow bring?  I ask again.  We'll have to wait and see and dress accordingly.  There is one thing I am sure of:  I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future...and I'll trust Him with it.

Growing Pains

Today I'm reminded of the emotional "growing pains" I experienced, especially as a teenager.  Watching my grandchildren now dealing with the same age-old situations--I am relegated to share their hurt--not because I am reliving what I experienced--but because my heart is irrevocably attached to them.  In fact, any emotional trauma they suffer is magnified in this grandmother's heart--(Meme as I am known to them).

Heartbreak, struggles with school work, rejection by friends, feelings of inferiority, bullying, arguments with parents--it may all seem like so much drama--but to the young person, struggling to discover who they are and what direction life is taking them---these are serious and sometimes life-altering issues.

Hopefully these "growing pains" will produce strong character and determination to be the best they can be.  A broken heart takes time to heal, but when family and friends bind together to pray for, offer a shoulder to cry on--or just quietly support--things will get better.  Recognizing that the hurt is real and very deep--not dismissively brushing it off, is important.  Looking back, I realize that the "lost" loves that I felt devastated by at the time, were great stepping stones to take me to my wonderful husband--God's true and best choice for me!  Yes, it is true young people--what my Dad always quoted from God's Word:  "Weeping may endure for the night, but Joy comes in the morning."  Patience is hard when you're hurting--it's true.  But the end result will bring JOY.  True and lasting JOY!

As I grew up--one of my worse "growing pains" came about by excessive bullying in my 8th grade year of school.  I can testify today that experience--though extremely hurtful--gave me a determination to be so much more than my bully saw.

Writing this today in reflection over my past "hurts"/"growing pains"--I do realize that even at my age I am still having "growing pains".  Growing in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ is an ongoing process.  I certainly haven't arrived.  I John 3:2-3 states:  "Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be.  We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.  And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure."  (NASB)  What a thought--to be like Jesus.  I obviously have a lot more "growing" to do--praying for the grace to take the "pain".

So, today--what's my main point?  Love, protect, shower with good example and advice those teens and young adults around you.  They have REAL emotional pain and are often suffering as they struggle with life's disappointments, making right choices, and moving past hurts.  Encourage them, let them know you're there for them, and above all, PRAY FOR THEM!!!!